Can’t Stand Wasting Time

And that comes from a self-proclaimed procastinator.

Don’t you just hate it when something you know will only last 5 minutes gets delayed longer and longer and ends up ruining you a whole morning or afternoon? Well, that’s precisely what happened to me yesterday.

You see, my mother works for a small (almost familiar) company that owns a couple of apartments near the beach. Employees can use them for free whenever they want, which is great. There’s one apartment in particular that nobody ever goes except my family (it sometimes feels as if it were our own). It’s tiny and old but the building has two swimming pools, a tennis court… It’s our small retreat.

The thing is Mom recently decided that she couldn’t bear another night sleeping in those utterly uncomfortable, backache-inducing beds and resolved to buy some new ones. She finally bought them two weeks ago but it wasn’t until yesterday that they could take them to the apartment. Someone had to be in there when they arrived and, of course, that was me.

The last thing on my mind was that they’d arrive not 10 or 20 minutes late but a whole 4 hours and a half. And they didn’t even call to let us know they’d be late, it was Mom who had to (repeatedly) ring them until she got an answer and an explanation. When they finally got there, they didn’t apologise, despite knowing we don’t live there and that I had gone exclusively to be there when they arrived.

My plans to practise once back home (which was supposed to be at 5 or so) were, of course, cancelled. We were both in such a bad mood (my girlfriend had gone to the apartment with me) that we just had dinner and went to bed. I was seriously pissed off.

I’ve just done some Pilates and then I have to prepare my bags because we’re staying at the apartment for a week starting tomorrow. It’ll be the three of us (Elvis the Frenchie is coming, too) and I’m so looking forward to it.

BE

B is for busy, E is for exhausted

In my previous post, I wrote that I’d be having a busy day on Thursday and that I didn’t know if I’d be able to practise. Well, the day ended up being even more hectic than I had first thought. I woke up early and, after walking the dog, I had my hair cut. Then I went out and washed the car. Back home, I sat on my desk to study Anatomy for a couple of hours. After lunch, I took the car to its first MOT test and afterwards came back home again, earlier than I had expected. It was then when I squeezed a 1-hour long practice. I did a slightly modified version of Primary Series (because I was short on time) and then ran to the Spa I work in to teach 2 Pilates classes in a row. As I’ve said, I’m on vacation but my boss asked me to sub her before I left last Tuesday (although it was meant to be only for an hour). I’m good like that.

After all this rush and activity, I slept like a baby and didn’t for a moment consider practising yesterday. I was sore and preferred not to overdo it. I studied some more Anatomy and read a few more chapters of “The Heart of Yoga” by Desikachar.

On the subject of books, I’d like to share my current Amazon wishlist with you. I plan to place an order this month and I’d love it if any of you out there shared your opinion, in case you own or have read any of the following:

- “The Complete Book of Vinyasa Yoga” by Srivatsa Ramaswami
- Yoga Journal’s “Yoga as Medicine“
- “Yoga Posture Adjustments and Assisting” by Stephanie Pappas
- “Teaching Yoga: Exploring the Teacher-Student Relationship” by Donna Farhi
- “Instructing Hatha Yoga” by Kathy Lee Kappmeier

Lots Of Yoga Reading

Today, I’ve spent most of the day reading. I went through a few chapters of Desikachar’s “The Heart Of Yoga” and Tara Fraser’s “Total Yoga” as well. I’ve had them both for a couple of years and have read them from cover to cover but I want to use this time on vacation to get a clear picture of the basics of yoga in preparation for the course. The Mohans studied directly with Krisnamacharya, Desikachar’s father, so their ideas have a common root. “The Heart Of Yoga” is one of my favourite yoga books and I think he does an excellent job in thoroughly explaning the most important aspects of yogic philosophy. Besides, the book is completed with Patanjali’s “Yoga Sutra” with Desikachar’s commentary.

No practice today. I intended to practise right after helping The Girlfriend do some Pilates but I wasn’t really in the mood and it had got a bit too late. I’m having a busy day tomorrow but I’ll still try to squeeze an hour of yoga before lunch. Not necessarily Ashtanga, by the way, as I’m trying to make my yoga practice more varied. I’ll design a short vinyasa-style asana sequence favouring standing postures and twists, things I’m not getting much of with Pilates. We’ll see how that goes.

Local Warming

It’s been insanely hot here since the week started. The minimum temperature expected today is 28º C (82.4º F) and we’ve been exceeding 40º C (104º F) by far during midday, which is the shift I’ve been working lately. I feel quite relieved now that I’m off work until September. It might get even worse, so it’s good to know that I can spend that time of day safe at home with the air conditioning – or on the beach!

I’m not going to any special place this Summer. I can’t afford it now that I have to pay the teacher training (thank G*d I don’t have to make a single payment!) Besides, I have to take some exams in September and it’s wiser to stay and use the free time. I’ll stay a few days in an apartment near the beach here in the South of the island but that’s it.

I plan to practise tomorrow, probably in the afternoon rather than in the morning. We’ll see how it goes.

I’m So Thrilled

I’m taking the teacher training course. I still can’t believe that people with such a background are coming here to teach. At first, I had my doubts as to whether I’m ready or not to take that step, taking into account that my own practice hasn’t been that consistent these past few months. However, after much inner debate, I’ve come to the conclusion that this is a chance I can’t miss; furthermore, it actually couldn’t have come in a better moment.

You see, the main problem I’ve had with yoga and the primary reason that I even gave it up for a while is that I somehow lost motivation. Keep in mind that I never had a teacher, so I had to learn on my own, buying lots books and DVDs. While I’m perfectly aware that yoga is an individual experience and a very personal journey, being all on my own became too much for me. That’s why I’m sure that this experience is going to give me that extra boost of energy and motivation that will put me back on the right track.

In preparation for the course, and taking advantage of being on vacation during August, I plan to practise yoga at least 3 times a week, starting today. I’ll still be fitting 2 or 3 days of Pilates each week, too. They’re completely different activities and, while I admit I’ve never been as fit as when I used to do yoga daily, I definitely don’t want to lose the Pilates. One month off that would be too much and I know I’d regret it come September, when I get back to work. Besides, it’s a nice way to do some cross-training.

The only downside of all this teacher training thing is that it’s really expensive. I was traying to save some money for a trip to Greece next year. On a longer term, I was also saving so I could finally move out of my parents’ place. As much as I don’t like the idea, I’ll have to put these things on hold because, well, there’ll always be time for them.

Yay!

Me likes this.

Crisis

I know many Medicine students think about giving up sometime along the way. It’s easy to lose faith when the path is so full of obstacles. However, I’m not just tired – I’m getting the feeling that I made the wrong choice when I took up Medicine.

You see, I’ve always thought that I wanted to be a doctor, but I’m not so sure anymore. I’m not saying that I totally dislike the area, it’s just that I believe I could be equally happy being a Nutritionist or a Physiotherapist. Maybe not so well paid but that’s not my main concern. I’d better earn less but be more satisfied with what I do. After all, I’ll be spending 25+ years working at something, so I better like it, right?

Lesson #1 – “Yoga Is 99% Practice And 1% Theory”

Even though yoga includes much more than asana, I can’t really take pride in being a yogi without practising at all. Teaching Pilates while still studying has proven to be quite demanding and time-consuming. However, it’s by no means an excuse for procrastinating. Obviously, I can’t aspire to mantain a daily practice because my body wouldn’t cope with it all. However, what prevents me from enjoying a good practice at least once a week? The answer is NOTHING.

As I said in my previous post, I had begun to feel guilty about the lack of practice of late. Moreover, I felt disappointed because I couldn’t really understand why I had become such a lazy person. Deep down I knew I was much more focused and hard-working when I did yoga but I still managed to find a thousand reasons to keep from doing it.

Then I read a comment that opened my eyes. There are two ways of avoiding feeling guilty: getting over it or facing it. Will getting over it make my happy? I don’t think so. So, what’s left?

Which brings us to today. I got on the mat and I did it without expectations. I just told myself “go with the flow”. Who cares if it’s not brilliant. Who cares if I can’t practise again tomorrow. It’ll still be a reason to be happy and satisfied.

I had forgotten how demanding Ashtanga is. Pilates has given me lots of core strength, which comes handy in the leg balances. And bending both forwards and backwards wasn’t hard at all, either. Twisting was another thing, as there’s not much emphasis on that in Pilates exercises. Still, I was amazed that I could manage to go as far as Navasana skipping just a couple of poses (Janu Sirsasana B & C and Marichyasana B & D). I couldn’t do full Navasana, either, but that’s because I harmed my coccyx bone last week when I not-very-gracefully fell on my butt on my way home from work.

You can’t imagine how happy I feel right now. In the next post: Lesson #2: “Practice and all is coming”.

Winds Of Change

For the past few days, I’ve been feeling terribly guilty about the lack of yoga. Not only do I miss the serenity and concentration it gave me but I also feel angry with myself. Angry for becoming such a procrastinating person, angry for wasting my time so much, angry for giving up, angry for turning back to step 1. I’ve learned one thing along the way: the worst person you can let down is yourself.

I had an interesting and unexpected conversation with one of my Pilates students (customers?) about how we both miss yoga and how great it would be if they offered more yoga classes in the centre I’m working at. She actually encouraged me to give them myself because, in her opinion, that will make me realise how valuable yoga is and how crucial it is to mantain a regular practice. I thanked her for the support but couldn’t but deny the possibility because, after all, I haven’t had proper training (any training, for that matter) and don’t feel ready for such a challenge, either.

I must admit I’d love the idea of giving yoga classes. However, I’ve got lots of things in mind right now and, honestly, something’s gotta give. There’s the degree, there’s the Pilates, there’s The Girlfriend and now the dog (and that’s not all). I’ve got this feeling that I’m in some sort of turning point, as if I’m closing a cycle. Whatever that means, I need to get rid of all the meaningless things that take time and bring nothing good. Nevertheless, I’ve spent some time fooling around some websites, checking yoga courses. Although I can’t afford any of them right now, if things go fine during the next 6 months, I think I’ll be able to take one.

We’ll see.

Back to “normal”

The Other Pilates Teacher came back to work today after 2 weeks off (1 due to illness and 1 because she was on holiday) so I’m finally back to my normal schedule of 3 classes on Tuesdays and another 3 on Thursdays. I must admit it wasn’t as tough as I expected although it took me a while to get used to that amount of exercise. They intend to arrange another room in the studio to offer more classes, to be given simultaneously with the ones already running. Which means I’ll be giving more classes soon so this has been a nice training.

Elvis is going through a “bite and chew” stage and likes to destroy everything at his reach. Other than that, he’s a good dog. He eats well and sleeps better than we do (he snores). He’s adorable.

I really haven’t been able to get on the mat with all the Pilates and that (no time and no mood) but I intend to practice next Friday. Let’s see how that goes.