For the past few days, I’ve been feeling terribly guilty about the lack of yoga. Not only do I miss the serenity and concentration it gave me but I also feel angry with myself. Angry for becoming such a procrastinating person, angry for wasting my time so much, angry for giving up, angry for turning back to step 1. I’ve learned one thing along the way: the worst person you can let down is yourself.
I had an interesting and unexpected conversation with one of my Pilates students (customers?) about how we both miss yoga and how great it would be if they offered more yoga classes in the centre I’m working at. She actually encouraged me to give them myself because, in her opinion, that will make me realise how valuable yoga is and how crucial it is to mantain a regular practice. I thanked her for the support but couldn’t but deny the possibility because, after all, I haven’t had proper training (any training, for that matter) and don’t feel ready for such a challenge, either.
I must admit I’d love the idea of giving yoga classes. However, I’ve got lots of things in mind right now and, honestly, something’s gotta give. There’s the degree, there’s the Pilates, there’s The Girlfriend and now the dog (and that’s not all). I’ve got this feeling that I’m in some sort of turning point, as if I’m closing a cycle. Whatever that means, I need to get rid of all the meaningless things that take time and bring nothing good. Nevertheless, I’ve spent some time fooling around some websites, checking yoga courses. Although I can’t afford any of them right now, if things go fine during the next 6 months, I think I’ll be able to take one.
We’ll see.
May 22, 2007 at 2:00 am
You quite often feel guilty about the lack of practice you do. When are you going to stop beating yourself up and get over it, or be more dedicated by rearranging your priorities. Two directions. contemplate them. Guilt is “self inflicted” and a horrible state to put oneself in. Best of luck.